If they lose teach them to not make excuses, to learn from the loss and move on. Many times the players move on from the loss quicker then the parents. We get better through set backs if we face our challenges head on. It also make us mentally tougher and resilient....two important life skills.
Teach them this by applauding their effort and their coachability. Do not coach them to look to score, "take over" the game, show their talent or shoot more. If you teach them to be "me" players they will miss the experience of being part of a team. Teamwork teaches humility and makes life work.....all players need to learn it.
Coaching your player may confuse him. Allow him to experience how to deal with others. Encourage your player to listen to the coach. The best advice EHS Men’s Lacrosse could give a parent is find a program where you agree with the philosophy of the coach and then allow them to coach. A very simple definition of each person's role puts it into perspective: Players= Play, Coaches= Coach, Parents= Support, Officials= Officiate. Make sure to play your role well and not someone else's role.
Encourage your son to speak with their coach. A coach should be honest with their players about where they stand and what they need to do to improve. Your job is not to approach the coach about playing time. Your son needs to learn to advocate for himself and learn how to communicate with others. Remember that a player being a valuable member of the team is important...it is not all about playing time. Also, they may be a less experienced player and may need to develop. Many players do not come into their own until their senior year.
If a parent is constantly trying to have their son be better then someone else, the player will always be second best....but if you encourage your son to be the best they can be and compete to be that everyday, they will get better and they will reach their potential!
We would not want anyone to speak negatively about our child, so do not speak of someone else's child negatively.
Sports are an emotional game. They can bring out the best in us and the worst in us if we are not careful. Keep your emotions under control. Would you want someone yelling at you from the stands? Would you want someone yelling at you at work?
In order to do so, we must acknowledge that we can not control the experience of our player...that is why it is called an experience. When we experience something we will have good times and bad times, great moments and average plays, we will deal with victory and defeat....allow your player to experience these highs and lows in sport which will allow them to deal with the ups and downs of life......If we try to control the experience our player is not being prepared for life.
Teach your player that they are playing for the love of the game, for their teammates, for the love of competition....think about if you could teach your player to be a great competitor, a great teammate and to love what they do!.....that would be special.....in youth sports we need to get away from the fact that everyone gets a trophy......if we do, we are teaching them to play for the reward rather then understanding that the reward is playing the game itself!
Sports like life are a process.....and we need to attack the process everyday to grow and get better.....The process is hard work, knowledge, attitude, perseverance, teamwork, coachability, dealing with success and failure..... and winning is the by product....in sports and in life.
Any journey we take is bound to have great moments, some bad moments, and some moments that we laugh at.....enjoy the journey with your player and do not agonize over every single play, decision by the coach, a good game/ bad game by the team or your player. In 25 years you will wish you were watching your son play...so enjoy the journey!
Your player will make mistakes, you son is not always perfect.....teach them when needed and make sure to compliment when needed.
"The coach does not like me" is a familiar excuse...in the end, coaches like players that work hard, our coachable, have a great attitude, show perseverance, are good teammates, and know how to deal with success and failure....teach your son to show the coach these attributes.